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Wannabe
Jessica Curry
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L*STS: an Essay Daily Happening | About & Contents
Lists | Lasts | Losts | Lusts | Other
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I want to be as cool as Charlotte Gainsbourg
I want to be as sexy as Sophia Loren
I want to be as profound as Emily Dickinson
I want to be as impassive as Zadie Smith
I want to be as elegant as Kristen Scott Thomas
I want to be as tiny as Sarah Jessica Parker
I want to be as radical as Mary Wollstonecraft
I want to be as loveable as Claire Danes
I want to be as funny as Maya Rudolph
I want to be as beautiful as Rachel Weisz
I want to be as sharp-witted as Nora Ephron
I want to be as heartfelt as Joni Mitchell
I want to be as impressive as Maya Angelou
I want to be as devastating as Carrie Fisher
I want to be as wise as Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I want to be as charming as Maggie Aderin-Pocock
I want to be as chic as Katherine Hepburn
I want to be as rock and roll as Miki Berenyi
I want to be as defiant as Rosa Parks
I want to be as cheeky as Lou Sanders
I want to be as influential as Ruth Bader Ginsburg
I want to be as positive as Isabelle Allende
I want to be as elliptical as Deborah Levy
I want to be as hip as Kathryn Hahn
I want to be as brave as Harriet Tubman
I want to be as iconic as Frida Kahlo
I want to be as unwavering as Eleanor Roosevelt
I want to be as blonde as Cameron Diaz
I want to be as fierce as Virginia Woolf
What is a little bit sad is that I very rarely want to be me.
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I am a huge writer of lists, and love reading other peoples’, too. I was very depressed during the Pandemic and when I was finally starting to be able to function again I started making lists in my diary to inject some structure into my day. This list from 2022 was born from my remembering an absolutely hilarious song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, where she sings about the intensity of girl crushes: “I wanna kill you and wear your skin like a dress, but then also have you see me in the dress.” Chef’s kiss. My list questions why we can feel this beautiful—bordering on obsessional—appreciation of other women, but are so rarely able to harness that love and reverence for ourselves. The title, Wannabe, is homage to the ultimate lady bosses, The Spice Girls.
Jessica Curry is a BAFTA-winning composer, writer, game developer and broadcaster. She was co-founder of internationally acclaimed game studio The Chinese Room and her music has been performed around the world. She started writing in earnest during the pandemic as an accompaniment to her latest album, Shielding Songs. Her work draws on themes of disability, feminism, culture and the peculiarities of modern life. Her first non-fiction work, How to Deal With Everything We Lose, was published by Calque Press earlier this year.

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